Solitude and Truth
This is about a personal moment, but I am willing to share to help bring realization to others, as all those before have done by speaking the truth. Maybe these understandings and affects (internal expressions) have already happened to you, and that is wonderful to know 🙂 Please let me know.
This started out as a contemplation about solitude, being alone, and those who do not understand what this is about. People view solitude as a very bad thing. The loner, the loser, the one who doesn’t have many friends, the one who doesn’t go out. People don’t understand the drive for truth. Go out for what? Useless trivialities of distractions and preconditioned choice-paths preselected by the system and society we are immersed in? Wasting my time and energy on socializing to conform? No thanks.
Being alone teaches you to be independent and strong, if you can learn from it. Otherwise, you will become depressed, insecure, and crave the attention of others, crave belonging to something. If you can traverse the path of solitude, with truth, uncovering the lies, deceptions and illusions of reality, and see things as they are, aligning perceptions with truth, reality and what ‘is’, then you can emerge from the solitude as a very strong being. If you go into solitude without truth, you will not have a companion. ……….
(this is when I was overwhelmed with realization and I cried for a while, it was so profound, and I am writing this as I still tear up. So beautiful this realization, tears of joy, gratitude, thanks, appreciation, care/”love”, could not contain it. The only other time I have had this was when I thanked the truth/universe/etc. for helping come to know truth and face the wrongs I have done to the sentient beings of this planet. I repented for that deeply. With this realization, I felt extreme gratitude for truth/universe/etc. and it having been with me to help me gain and grasp more of it. Profound moments of self-knowledge, self-realization, self-actualization like this, are amazing.)
As I wrote this above, when I finished writing “companion”, I was hit by this great realization. Truth is the companion of those who embrace it and care/”love” it and seek it out. I understand how I have navigated my lonely path and have not been overcome by the depression of solitude. It has been quite the opposite journey despite my solitude. When you don’t have truth, you are alone. And you will go into depression, or worse (suicide). When you seek truth, find it, embrace it, grasp it, embody and become more of what is right, good and true, you will continue to have a companion by your side. The greatest companion of all. The most important thing. Truth. Truth, true Self, higher Self, higher Will, Natural Law, rightness, goodness, “God”, source, whatever, will be your companion if you embrace it/her/him/whatever. You give yourself to the truth. I only now understand the profoundness of this reality. I understand to my core. It was conceptual truth before; I understood it because it was true. But now I understand it deeper than just mental/mind understanding? I don’t know if that is possible, I am just trying to express what is happening.
I read “Love of Truth” by Manly P. Hall yesterday or the day before, and as usual there are things we agree with and those we don’t, such as the way he spoke of religion in a good light, but I had suspected he was using the true meaning of liberating religion, not the contractive holding us back “religare”. The religion of Truth is not a dogma or some such control, but it is true religion as Mark Passio has mentioned. To reunite with truth. This is the supreme being. Manly P. Hall recounted the life of Boethius, and his vision or symbolic understanding of the truth as a companion. So I didn’t truly grasp the veracity, the profound depth of meaning in what he was trying to say, to convey to his audience, yesterday, but today it hit me as I was contemplating the good in solitude. I was looking for his definition of “love” for my next article. So the tale of Boethius was that so long as you have care/”love” of truth, embrace it, seek out more of its aspects, embody more and more it, then you will have her as a companion by your side for all your days. You have given yourself to truth, and the truth will pay you back by being by your side. The truth will give you comfort. All the truth, the negative/positive, beauty/horror, all of it. The negative makes you mad at first, but you get over it. And you become grateful to know the truth of our reality. With truth as your companion, you are never alone. Those who don’t get enough aspects of the truth, who don’t continue on the spiritual path of truth, and seek to go all the way, each day, will not come to know the value of seeking truth, understanding as much of reality and what ‘is’ as we can.
Some could say this is just a delusional psychological self-justified appraisal to make myself feel-good about my current position in life and past life choices. But that makes less sense to me, since I don’t like to engage in self-delusional thoughts and have always accepted my current position as one I willingly took as my choice in life and it required no justification to make myself feel good. The truth has always made me feel good (I just didn’t have the companion aspect understood). The truth has always given me joy. Many things are making more sense about my journey now that I have had this realization.
I’m still writing this and still being blown away but this insight. I am having trouble controlling the affect it is having on me. The gratitude. The thankfulness. The gratefulness.
Some background on my journey so far so you get some context and understanding.
My initial awakening was in 2006 with Alex Jones’ Terrorstorm. The hard truth in that documentary dug me out of my deadened care, my apathy. It resurrected, revived, rebirthed me into life. Into care. Into truth. I recognized how wrong I was, duped, tricked, fooled, deceived, manipulated, conned, fucked, screwed, uninformed, misled, unaware, bamboozled, lied to, hoodwinked, etc. And I didn’t want that anymore. That was leading an unconscious life. As Socrates calls it, an unexamined life. I recognized that.
So, sometime in August 2006, that is when I began my spiritual journey on the path of truth. It is the moment I started to be less lost. It is the moment my true life began. This is when I developed true purpose. This is when I began to feel alive! The only person I told about this feeling of being alive and having purpose was my father. The truth is the greatest joy I have had. It is what has made me the most alive. It is what made me care. It took me out of the grave of apathy, out of that coffin, out of the tomb. From being asleep, unawakened, unbegun, uninitiated, deadened, without care, dead, not alive, no purpose, no meaning. And my journey has not stopped. I would work for a year or two, quit and live off my money for a while, learn, seek, rinse-wash-repeat. At first, I was still immersed in so much darkness, so many lies, deception, and illusions. So much attachment to false identity constructs. Mark Passio’s work is the greatest aggregation, collection and collation of truth I have come across form one source, and it has brought me to leaps and bounds of understanding. Prior to finding Mark information, I was losing my drive for truth for a few months. I had gone into solipsism a bit, nihilism, uncertainty, skepticism of the degree of knowing and verifying truth. I was slipping back into desperation of integration with society, thinking about getting a real career, a house, a woman, children, home, etc. The whole script. The whole program. I was going back in the coffin, back in the tomb, back to sleep. But thanks to Mark having the care, courage and will to speak for the truth, I am where I am today, back into care, courage and willpower to do something about our collective situation. Alex Jones, despite his limitations on what he talks about, and Mark Passio, have been the most impactful humans in my journey of awakening towards truth and care. And ultimately courage and wisdom.
A side note, back in 2006 I was pumped to go out and share this new info (9/11, Terrorstorm, etc.) with people. I tried, but no one would care about it. No one was getting out of the coffin like me. I wanted to do something to change the world, but alas, I was still too ignorant, lacking understanding, and would not have likely engaged in the right-action, the real right action. If you end up going into politics because you think you will do something good from within the control system but actually perpetuate it, or investing your time and energy into something else that has limited scope of the whole larger picture, then you can end up entrenched and attached to something you will not let go of, and will never evolve towards greater degrees of consciousness due to that investment and attachment.
In closing, I hope everyone can come to this realization in their life. The care/”love” for truth as one of the greatest gifts we can bestow upon ourselves. I cared and sought truth actively before, but now I understand my commitment to the truth even more than before.
And for those who do not appreciate the importance of recognizing and understanding the horror, negative, dark truths in the world, I have just explained how it can be a powerful catalyst to actually get you to give a shit, develop care, admit you are wrong, and then try to do something about it at some point.