Solitude and Truth

This is about a personal moment, but I am willing to share to help bring realization to others, as all those before have done by speaking the truth. Maybe these understandings and affects (internal expressions) have already happened to you, and that is wonderful to know 🙂 Please let me know.

This started out as a contemplation about solitude, being alone, and those who do not understand what this is about. People view solitude as a very bad thing. The loner, the loser, the one who doesn’t have many friends, the one who doesn’t go out. People don’t understand the drive for truth. Go out for what? Useless trivialities of distractions and preconditioned choice-paths preselected by the system and society we are immersed in?  Wasting my time and energy on socializing to conform? No thanks.

Being alone teaches you to be independent and strong, if you can learn from it. Otherwise, you will become depressed, insecure, and crave the attention of others, crave belonging to something. If you can traverse the path of solitude, with truth, uncovering the lies, deceptions and illusions of reality, and see things as they are, aligning perceptions with truth, reality and what ‘is’, then you can emerge from the solitude as a very strong being. If you go into solitude without truth, you will not have a companion. ……….

(this is when I was overwhelmed with realization and I cried for a while, it was so profound, and I am writing this as I still tear up. So beautiful this realization, tears of joy, gratitude, thanks, appreciation, care/”love”, could not contain it. The only other time I have had this was when I thanked the truth/universe/etc. for helping come to know truth and face the wrongs I have done to the sentient beings of this planet. I repented for that deeply.  With this realization, I felt extreme gratitude for truth/universe/etc. and it having been with me to help me gain and grasp more of it. Profound moments of self-knowledge, self-realization, self-actualization like this, are amazing.)

As I wrote this above, when I finished writing “companion”, I was hit by this great realization. Truth is the companion of those who embrace it and care/”love” it and seek it out. I understand how I have navigated my lonely path and have not been overcome by the depression of solitude. It has been quite the opposite journey despite my solitude. When you don’t have truth, you are alone. And you will go into depression, or worse (suicide). When you seek truth, find it, embrace it, grasp it, embody and become more of what is right, good and true, you will continue to have a companion by your side. The greatest companion of all. The most important thing.  Truth. Truth, true Self, higher Self, higher Will, Natural Law, rightness, goodness, “God”, source, whatever, will be your companion if you embrace it/her/him/whatever. You give yourself to the truth. I only now understand the profoundness of this reality. I understand to my core. It was conceptual truth before; I understood it because it was true. But now I understand it deeper than just mental/mind understanding? I don’t know if that is possible, I am just trying to express what is happening.

I read “Love of Truth” by Manly P. Hall yesterday or the day before, and as usual there are things we agree with and those we don’t, such as the way he spoke of religion in a good light, but I had suspected he was using the true meaning of liberating religion, not the contractive holding us back “religare”. The religion of Truth is not a dogma or some such control, but it is true religion as Mark Passio has mentioned. To reunite with truth. This is the supreme being. Manly P. Hall recounted the life of Boethius, and his vision or symbolic understanding of the truth as a companion. So I didn’t truly grasp the veracity, the profound depth of meaning in what he was trying to say, to convey to his audience, yesterday, but today it hit me as I was contemplating the good in solitude. I was looking for his definition of “love” for my next article. So the tale of Boethius was that so long as you have care/”love” of truth, embrace it, seek out more of its aspects, embody more and more it, then you will have her as a companion by your side for all your days. You have given yourself to truth, and the truth will pay you back by being by your side. The truth will give you comfort. All the truth, the negative/positive, beauty/horror, all of it. The negative makes you mad at first, but you get over it. And you become grateful to know the truth of our reality. With truth as your companion, you are never alone. Those who don’t get enough aspects of the truth, who don’t continue on the spiritual path of truth, and seek to go all the way, each day, will not come to know the value of seeking truth, understanding as much of reality and what ‘is’ as we can.

Some could say this is just a delusional psychological self-justified appraisal to make myself feel-good about my current position in life and past life choices. But that makes less sense to me, since I don’t like to engage in self-delusional thoughts and have always accepted my current position as one I willingly took as my choice in life and it required no justification to make myself feel good. The truth has always made me feel good (I just didn’t have the companion aspect understood). The truth has always given me joy. Many things are making more sense about my journey now that I have had this realization.

I’m still writing this and still being blown away but this insight. I am having trouble controlling the affect it is having on me. The gratitude. The thankfulness. The gratefulness.

Some background on my journey so far so you get some context and understanding.

My initial awakening was in 2006 with Alex Jones’ Terrorstorm. The hard truth in that documentary dug me out of my deadened care, my apathy. It resurrected, revived, rebirthed me into life. Into care. Into truth. I recognized how wrong I was, duped, tricked, fooled, deceived, manipulated, conned, fucked, screwed, uninformed, misled, unaware, bamboozled, lied to, hoodwinked, etc. And I didn’t want that anymore. That was leading an unconscious life. As Socrates calls it, an unexamined life. I recognized that.

So, sometime in August 2006, that is when I began my spiritual journey on the path of truth. It is the moment I started to be less lost. It is the moment my true life began. This is when I developed true purpose. This is when I began to feel alive! The only person I told about this feeling of being alive and having purpose was my father. The truth is the greatest joy I have had. It is what has made me the most alive. It is what made me care. It took me out of the grave of apathy, out of that coffin, out of the tomb. From being asleep, unawakened, unbegun, uninitiated, deadened, without care, dead, not alive, no purpose, no meaning. And my journey has not stopped. I would work for a year or two, quit and live off my money for a while, learn, seek, rinse-wash-repeat. At first, I was still immersed in so much darkness, so many lies, deception, and illusions. So much attachment to false identity constructs. Mark Passio’s work is the greatest aggregation, collection and collation of truth I have come across form one source, and it has brought me to leaps and bounds of understanding. Prior to finding Mark information, I was losing my drive for truth for a few months. I had gone into solipsism a bit, nihilism, uncertainty, skepticism of the degree of knowing and verifying truth. I was slipping back into desperation of integration with society, thinking about getting a real career, a house, a woman, children, home, etc. The whole script. The whole program. I was going back in the coffin, back in the tomb, back to sleep. But thanks to Mark having the care, courage and will to speak for the truth, I am where I am today, back into care, courage and willpower to do something about our collective situation. Alex Jones, despite his limitations on what he talks about, and Mark Passio, have been the most impactful humans in my journey of awakening towards truth and care. And ultimately courage and wisdom.

A side note, back in 2006 I was pumped to go out and share this new info (9/11, Terrorstorm, etc.) with people. I tried, but no one would care about it. No one was getting out of the coffin like me. I wanted to do something to change the world, but alas, I was still too ignorant, lacking understanding, and would not have likely engaged in the right-action, the real right action. If you end up going into politics because you think you will do something good from within the control system but actually perpetuate it, or investing your time and energy into something else that has limited scope of the whole larger picture, then you can end up entrenched and attached to something you will not let go of, and will never evolve towards greater degrees of consciousness due to that investment and attachment.

In closing, I hope everyone can come to this realization in their life. The care/”love” for truth as one of the greatest gifts we can bestow upon ourselves. I cared and sought truth actively before, but now I understand my commitment to the truth even more than before.

And for those who do not appreciate the importance of recognizing and understanding the horror, negative, dark truths in the world, I have just explained how it can be a powerful catalyst to actually get you to give a shit, develop care, admit you are wrong, and then try to do something about it at some point.



  • Excellent post. Very timely for me, in that I too am at a point of Truth Realization. The point where I am learning to distinguish between the “awake” in label only, and those who “know” TRUTH. Interestingly, we both started our journeys around the same time. And both have Mark to thank for the boot in the rear.

  • Thank you, glad to hear from you and know your dedication as well, always seeking to accept the truth into us by recognizing it and eventually embodying it through right-action! Kudos on your seminar you are holding (Y) And don’t give up on the animal-flesh responsibility, at some point it hits you and you just say “NO MORE!, I have to accept responsibility and do it.” One of the best decisions of my life. Peace bro.

  • hey, thanks for the read.

    I have been following evolving / expanded consciousness since 2012 and have informed myself through physical and psychic conversations about the nature and history of humanity. As a member of European tribes who has ended up in Australia, I have learnt a lot from my warm collaborations with the original folk of this land… the culture predates all forms of civilised social organisation / population control and these people cut through unnecessary programming like the sharp blade of justice itself. I’m sure there is much, much more to learn, but I have gotten to the point where I am no longer surprised by pretty much anything I read on the Internet or hear through these channels.

    One question I have, is do you think we need to apply these teachings to the physical reality of food, water, shelter, and social organisation?

    Do you think we need to actually plan for either huge population drop (collapse) or for new ways of supporting humanity in the 21st century (10 billion people)?

    I’m thinking these questions are the reason we are here on earth… awakening is an ongoing process, but we gotta get up from under the tree some time. haha 😉

  • Thanks for the comment Kem,

    We do need to spread an understanding of the importance of truth and seek it out in our daily lives, if that is what you mean by teachings. Could you clarify what you mean if that is not it? I have not specified any particular teachings in this post, I do have other material on the site however, but I am not sure if you are talking about a particular thing or just truth in general.

    We do have to alter our way of living, I call it a “new way” of life. From my understanding this includes synergetic integration with Nature, getting out of the exploitative cities (they are dead in the future, they are unmanageable, it is all built on exploitation and cannot be sustained), growing our own food, providing our own water, getting more self-sufficient and less co-dependent on others and definitely no dependence on the state/government enslavement operation. No one wons land, certainly the ridiculous Opra or Lucas style hundreds or thousands of acres is ridiculous. Who was the first one to just claim vast amounts of land as theres and then later sell it to others. Land ownership is preposterous once you understand it deeply enough. We are temporarily using the land we need to survive, and in that temporary time, we don’t need vast amounts. We need to develop cooperation, mutualism, voluntaryism (not volunteer, voluntary) and become truly free by not having any masters or slaves, that is an-archy, no-rulers/no-masters. Only self-governing, truthful, honest, moral, personally responsible, people will be able to live freely. Everyone needs to develop care for truth, embrace it, and change themselves and then we can change the external world we live in.

    I will write up a post at some point on the way I see things needing to progress towards from where we are. I have done a lot of research to understand this. Permaculture is the way we are going to grow our own food with the plants helping each other in semi-self-sustaining interaction. I am non supporter of enslavement, exploittion, harm, violence and murder, and do not support any taking of innocent sentient beings who do no harm, as it is a violation of Universal Cosmic Natural Moral Law, something you might find ridiculous if you are attached to “tribal” ways of living. We have many tools at our availability that can aid us, technology is currently not our good friend, because it is being wielded against us, but R. Buckminster Fuller recognized the need to transition from the technology of weaponry to the technology of livingry, from war/murder to peace/life for the whole planet, and this was in the 1920’s! The tech was available back then.

    I wrote a little post last week about the current direction of our future:

    But I did not expound upon this new way of living. I just gave some aspects of it above though.

    Take care. Peace.

  • Hey Kris, I just read this post and was amazed to see that you “started” your journey in August of 2006! Unbelievably, this is the exact time I began what I would consider the 2nd phase in my relationship with TRUTH! I too was slapped in the face by circumstances and watched “Loose Change” , “911 Mysteries” , and of course “Terror Storm”. This was the piece of the puzzle I was avoiding for so many years; being caught up in many areas of the New Age movement. I would not look at the “Negative!” Well of course all that has changed my direction, and finding Mark Passio just pulled it all together… Now your work! Awesome. It’s also amazing to see my friend Ivan getting the call at the same time! Something is afoot lol

    Thought you guys would appreciate this area of my site, if you haven’t already looked at it.


    • Hehe interesting on the 2006 year. Thanks for the article, I recently watched Tsarion’s Post-Human video series he talks about his Individuality meme as well. I don’t agree with Tsarion’s model, its has issues, especially the True Self being the physical body itself. I have a different understanding than that of most people regarding self (ego-personality-identity construct), and True Self. In your article and some quotes, notice that Authentic Living is often likened to living in Truth, compared to the falsity of social conditioning and hive mind conformity to the program. This is a way to understand the True Self. As you go through my material, you will see my progression of understanding how Truth is Love is Good is Right is Morality is Natural Law is Higher Will is Higher Self is True Self is Spirit, etc.

    • I forgot to add that there is another aspect to my understanding regarding how we are all essentially the same. Our ego-personality-identity constructs are a result of our specific spatial and temporal experiences that differ from others and cannot be duplicated. The result is different ego-personality-identity constructs that will always represent multiplicity, diversity and variability. If everyone where to be born into the same body, at the same time, and with the same experiences at the same locations and times, then they would result in the same exact ego-personality-identity construct. Our ego-personality-identity constructs are only the result of our environmental conditioning and impositions. I may eventually share this, with the other comment, and additional understanding in the future as a post/audio… You may already see some conclusions from these premises that contradict the comforting religious and other spiritual beliefs that people hold dear about life and death, even though I have refrained from stating them here… 🙂

  • Mike Kovach

    Beautiful testimony Kris. I feel your pain/ anguish from this day you conceived these words AND your gratitude/ joy in your realization. You are certainly blessed and have a powerful higher self / true self.

    • Thanks Mike. I would just like to say that the Higher Self is the same for everyone, in my understanding that differs from other spiritual concepts about this. I have worked towards aligning myself with aspects of the Higher Will-Higher Self that I have come to comprehend. I mentioned this aspect of Truth = Love = Good = Right = Morality = Natural Law = Higher Will = Higher Self = True Self, etc in several articles/works, but have not laid it out fully in one place. I mentioned it to Scott yesterday as well.

  • Mike Kovach

    I feel what you are laying out is that the TRUE higher self (macrocosm), of which we are all a microcosm (individuated selves) is the Highest Moral good Truth we can strive for. Though, we are each at different positions in “realization through our behavior/ attention, etc”, I seen this idea laid out perfectly in the movie “Toy Story”. There were these little green alien toys in a claw machine. They had antennas on there head that attuned them with their higher self. Called by them, “The UNI-Mind).

    • Indeed, you are touching upon a dual aspect of the Collective Mind. In the negative, it is referred to as the Hive Mind, control; no, or loss of, individuality. But with respect to the Higher Will of Natural Law, it is a Collective Mind, a Collective Consciousness, a True Unity Consciousness, of living/being Truth-Love-Good-Right-etc. that we all share in common and are hence in “collectivism” of the right kind. A collective of Truth. True Unity. There will still be individuality due to the inherent diversity/multiplicity/variability/division that is part of the universe through temporal-spatial differences — i.e. we will always be born at different times, in different bodies, with different impositions and conditioning to alter our ego-personality-identity constructs, so individuality will never be gone, it will merge with the Truth, so that our overall collective actions are in unison, unity, harmony, and alignment of equilibrium/balance between ourselves and Truth-Love-Good-etc.

  • Buddha talks about True Unity and solitude, walking your path with those at your level, or going at it alone so that you can create at your full potential and not stagnate in false “unity” of only creating at other people’s levels:

    “If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.”
    – Buddha

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