Do you give people what they want?
If you care for someone, do you simply give them what they “want”? Or do you give them what they really need to grow?
Many people want to make others in their life “happy” and be “liked” by them. When someone desires, wants, or wishes for something, do you just give it to them because you want them to be happy or “feel-good”? Because you want to “help” them? Because you want them to “like” you in a reciprocal fashion?
“I want soft-drinks.”
“I want sugar.”
“I want cigarettes.”
“I want drugs.”
“I want …” fill in the blank.
“Gimme gimme gimme! Don’t you love me? Don’t you care about me?”
If you just give them whatever they want, that’s enabling and feeding them their negative-ego conditioned attachment to desires and distortions. They just keep doing it, and you help them stay that way.
Help and care for them by giving them what they need to better, improve and grow, by giving them the truth about what they are doing to themselves. Enabling them isn’t helping them at all. It just keeps them stuck in their attachment and reinforces it as “ok”, perfectly fine, and acceptable, because you “feed” them these things. Denial or ignorance doesn’t help anyone.
Of course, the problem with this is that we don’t want to be told of our wrongs and errors, either to done to ourselves or to others. We also don’t “like” taking on this responsibility to truly help others. We fear facing our problems, and we fear speaking to others about their problems when we see it.
Most people want to be left alone to continue to do wrong-actions, whether they are aware of it or not. This denial and ignorance of facing their errors and wrongs, ranges from the above examples of their behavior to consume products that aren’t good for them, but also their behavior that isn’t good for others and creates harm for others. It’s just that one is self-inflicted, while the other is inflicted on others.
We don’t do anyone any favors by letting them get away with errors in the world, just because they “want” to keep doing what they do, to “feel-good”, to “enjoy” themselves and “have fun”. Just because we want them to “like” us. Just because we always want to be “nice”, “kind” “get along” and “keep-the-peace”. Just because we don’t want to “rock the boat”, create a “hassle” or “make waves”. Just because we don’t like things to get “negative” between us. This is part of a deep psychological motivation for the “positive” and “feeling-good” related to the pleasure trap that can blind us to what we need to do.
So we keep a fake positivity-mask on in avoidance of controversy, conflict, friction, interference or tension in our lives. We fear breaking the maintenance of our relationships, our “connection” to others, and the “loyalty” we share if we speak up. Most of us don’t want to face the mirror. If someone dares to speak truth, the reaction in often “how dare you do such a thing!” even if they don’t say that verbally. It’s a lot easier to ignore the issue and keep being a coward so that the relationship can keep going on by maintaining falsity between us.
Aren’t masks and fakeness/falseness great? Gotta keep realness and authenticity hidden…
When we care for truth, then we can seek, discover and embrace it into our lives rather than continue to ignore, avoid, deny or reject it in favor of remaining attached to falsity. Truth is extreme – truth is one way – go all the way. Or, stay apathetic to the truth, be a coward, because we fear what will happen in our relationships with others if we dare to call them out on their denial and ignorance.
Some truths are harder to accept, so we may need to start with smaller truths and build our way up to a level of comprehension that would allow us to see the light of truth we currently deny.
This doesn’t help anybody in the end, now does it?
People and the world don’t change for the better when we keep ignoring issues around us,no matter how small. If we truly care and want to help, we need to speak up and shed light on the darkness of the situation.
We judge, offend and insult ourselves by our own actions. Speaking the truth is to shed a light on the darkness, and that light can be blinding. The blinding light can cause people to turn away from us, to yell, complain, and be mad at us for blinding them. But this is the burden, service and sacrifice we need to make when we live up to the responsibility of caring for truth.
This is hard work to do, with hardship and tribulations in our lives (as mentioned above). Not many people understand the importance of doing this. It’s preferable to choose the wide and easy path of allowing everything to continue and keeping the false peace, rather than choosing the narrow and hard path that eventually brings real peace by having us let go of our attachment to negative desires and behavior in our lives.
You will lose friends when they don’t care for truth and choose to remain attached to falsity. That’s why truth is symbolized as a sword. Truth divides from falsity. When you speak truth to others, it’s not out of hate, but out of care and “love”. The first goal is truth, and it does create conflict, unfortunately. That’s just how it works. Then the peace can happen automatically afterwards.
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law– a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.”
– Mat 10:34-40
The above symbolism about “Jesus” is an esoteric metaphorical way of talking about truth, the light of life that feeds and nourishes us metaphysically in consciousness. It’s what I have talked about before many times: realer, higher and truer life and living is found through caring, seeking, embracing and embodying truth into our lives, and especially moral truth.
Truth is “Love”. “Love” is Truth. Truth unites. Lies divide. Embrace Truth. Care for Truth.
Integrate with Truth & Morality.
Live integrated & connected.
Truth is one way – go all the way.